Rites of Passage

Canada is Still Cold

So I learned all about ghosts, or spirits and they are very very mean. I mean seriously why the heck did they attack us in the middle of the blizzard. Was our day not bad enough that they felt we needed a different challenge? On top of that they nearly killed Cana, tried to give her a heart attack inside out. The Cain decided she was a bad ass…it’s making me rethink who the chosen one in our group is. I’d like to think it’s me but that was some serious shredage at the all on her own….then again she could just be the Sasuke to my Naurto. So I’m just waiting for the right now to be awesome. I know we are suppose to help name our packmates, if we ever make it home, at our Name Ceremony. I’m voting “Cannonball with Claws” for her.

Then we met the best person in Canada ever! His name was Bill and apparently he’s a werebear but still really sweet. He gave us food, lodgings, warm clothing and told us stories. It was really nice staying at his place. We played a game of confession, Cana cheats but I’m not going to call her on it. Where’s the fun in that. Bill gave us provision and set us in the direction of town, we promised not to tell anyone about him.

The blizzard got worse so we took cover in a cave….then some douches for the Winter Wolves tracked us down….this is really bad.

A lesson never practiced is a lesson never learned ...

Kaiden Reid

One dark night there was a pack of wolves that basked in Luna’s beautiful radiance. They besought her as her chosen to prove their strength and gain her favor. To them she posed a simple task: break this bundle of branches in half and I will avail you with great wisdom for your deed. So the wolves set about their task and tore madly at the bundle. Much to their surprise and fury their claws had little effect and the bundle was too big for them to get their jaws around. They struggled for days each one taking turns thinking they were smarter than the previous but alas on the third day they gave up. They howled at Luna, “You tricked us! These branches are more than they seem!” The glade was quiet for a moment and the wolves waited for some response. In her infinite kindness Luna reached down and pulled on the string tying the branches together. The sticks fell to the floor in a heap and Luna bid them to try again. In unison they tore at the branches and ripped them to pieces in a matter of seconds. The wolves looked to each other and then to the sky questioning if their success warranted any response from their mother. She beamed down on them and they felt a great comfort, they had indeed succeeded. One of the wolves spoke up to her, “I see now what your lesson was for us oh beautiful and wise mother. Apart we fail but together we triumph.” And so it was that Wolf learned the value of his pack.

In all of Luna’s blessings, none is more important to our survival than each other. We forgot that last night. I forgot that last night. Lila is hurt. We were awoken in the night and then attacked by a crazed beast. Our efforts to fight this affront have ended up causing us more harm than we have inflicted. We rushed out to meet our opponents thirsty for blood with fangs and claws bared. All the while we gave no thought to the sixth member of our pack. Not. One. Stray. Thought.

They almost killed her. I would say that I have no words to try and get my point across but the truth is that I have too many words. Beaten. Bruised. Battered. Mangled. Butchered. Hacked. Mutilated. Dismembered. Yet the truly tragic part of all this is that none of these words can ever truly describe what Lila must feel. My gift has never felt more useless. For all my strength it means nothing if not to defend my family. That is what my father taught me, but in my arrogance I thought myself above his lessons and teachings. I am futile.


Family Vacation
What the fuck are we doing ...

Kaiden Reid

Something occurs to me as I sit down to write this. Levi, Stephen, Arumaiah, Oskar, and I have no idea what we are doing. After fighting to protect a stranger and killing pups from another Sept to do it we are driving through the Canadian wilderness to put an end to some great threat posed by the wurm somewhere in some frozen wasteland. Mom. What should I do?

I came to this somewhat frightening realization of our ignorance earlier today as I chased a deer through the woods. I don’t know what I was doing either mom. We came upon a car wreck. A truck had crushed some bikers and there were body parts all over. When we looked around we found that the bikers had been running from something that had attacked them. I silently thanked Luna for hiding away tonight as the cops rolled up to Lila.

The mose interesting part of my day was an hour or so later when we pulled into Miller’s Cross. The Lift, their local diner and bar was the only thing open so we stopped there to rest and find somewhere to spend the night. There was a really beautiful woman there who looked like Christine Taylor’s twin sister but more beautiful. Her name was Kala. She was warm and friendly even as the rest of the town stared us down from their seats. She helped Levi with his stomach and scared off a couple of ruffians that had followed us into town. She took care of us for a while and I wanted to stay longer but it was time to leave.

Tomorrow I am supposed to meet a drunk she pointed out as the town mechanic so I am going to make my way into The Lift and ask Kala where to find this guy. Have a good night mom, and wherever you are … sweet dreams.


Reel in the Rage, Reel in the Rage...

My dearest, darlingest, most beloved fellow Stargazers to whom I have no earthly attachments,

Okay, so the other Garou weren’t friendly. First, Cana (a Ragabash who has a totally awesome name that kind of reminds me of another awesome name I’ve heard before) started looking really ill. She was pale and dizzy, and then her left side went numb and holy crap I knew what this was it was a heart attack! I tried to help her but she got mad. I think she was just in a panic and took it out on us. At first we were trying to find a way to help her with physical treatment, but soon realized it was the other Garou causing this.

We tried crossing over into the umbra, but Sina, the Galliard, got stuck halfway. She looked all weird and transparenty, and we could see her organs and everything! I was about to try to help her, but suddenly realized that we could see the other Garou now that we were in the umbra, and one of them had his arm reached into Cana’s chest! I am ashamed to say that I just felt all my inner rage boil up at that sight. I couldn’t let them hurt my friends. And I know if I didn’t consider them friends, I wouldn’t have such an attachment that would cause me to lose control of my rage but… but I couldn’t help it! And becoming so enraged helped me save them, so if getting out of balance is what can save lives, the lives of my friends, then I am okay with that.

I shifted into what felt the most powerful to me instinctively, into Crinos, then ran as quick as I could to stop the wolf attacking Cana. I didn’t hold back at all… I reached right for his own heart and tore him in half. But as I did this, I realized he felt not entirely physical. These Garou were spirits of the dead, and I could sense just… a thankfulness as I destroyed it. Like I was letting it free. That feeling was enough to calm me down just slightly, where now I wasn’t killing them out of anger (as long as they didn’t hurt my friends again), but out of necessity and charity. I still felt my body moving instinctively and with vicious intent to kill though, so I wasn’t completely under control…

Next I was attacked by a second Garou, who was just dripping wet and drooling everywhere, but I managed to leapfrog over him (I think I felt a wet splatter from him as I did), more concerned about checking the status of my friends first. Calliope and Sina were being attacked by a spirit who was on fire (and he is so not cool enough to be Mr. Fahrenheit), so I tackled and pinned him with my claws. Feeling the spirity flesh underneath me, thinking about how he almost hurt more of my friends, I had another moment where the rage overtook, treating my claws like picks and just stabbing him over and over again until he dissolved into snowy dust, which I clawed at some more. Once I realized he was completely gone, I looked up and saw that Calliope had managed to get Sina to our side, so they were safe now.

I hopped up, prepared for more battle, but looked just in time to see Valentine fighting a long-armed Garou and BEEEEEES! Actually I think they were wasps, but she managed to stop the spirit and the bees/wasps/hornets/whatever disappeared with it. Seeing she was safe, I turned my attention back to the drooly ghost, but Sina and Cana were taking care of him. Relieved that we had stopped them and everyone was safe, we went back to the physical world. I started to apologize for how out of control I had gotten, but Calliope suddenly came up and hugged me and thanked me for saving her life, and suddenly I just felt better and knew that it was worth losing control if it saved my pack mates.

As we all calmed down and got our bearings back, I realized I had destroyed my clothing when I’d turned Crinos, so now I couldn’t be Homid at all or I’d freeze. And I had bought that coat as my first souvenir of New York! Cana said she’d find me another one though so I guess that’s okay. Then, even crazier, Valentine didn’t know who she was! I thought she had amnesia, but she said her name was Irene and she was freaked out that we were all werewolves! Then, another bombshell, Cana told us we were really on a reality TV show! I started to panic, thinking I had killed innocent ghost actors, but Calliope said that wasn’t true, that Cana was just joking. I hope that’s the case but I’m still gonna be wary for hidden cameras…

Suddenly though we were called from afar. An old man hailed us and said he wanted to give us a meal and a place to rest. He was really nice and could understand us when we were shifted, plus didn’t freak out seeing some of us in Crinos, so we decided to trust him and go with him. He gave us pelts and a delicious meal with meat and all kinds of stuff, and gave me some new clothes too! I turned Homid again and ate by the fire. I think the others were trying to find out more about him while Valentirene and I chowed down. I did get that his name was Bill and that he was very nice. He also told us a story that I didn’t listen to and made us promise to finish our Rite of Passage, which we very much agreed to. He let us sleep in his cabin for the night, and gave us a cool horn or something I think and supplies as a parting gift. He told us not to tell anyone about him, which I guess I’m doing now so oh crap good thing this is a mental journal I will edit this part out before I put it on paper.

So anyway, with that we were on our way, on a journey to complete our Rite of Passage and get out of Canada. However, we were soon interrupted when we entered a cave; it turns out we had been herded in there by some of the Wendigo from earlier. One of them had even spit at Valentine before! I think they wanted to end us in the first place instead of letting us leave… well, I guess I’ll tell you guys more next time in my mental journal!

Your dearest, darlingest, most beloved Cainy-Wainy to whom you have no earthly attachment

Journal of Leviticus Bekhit

Journal of Leviticus Bekhit: 9/3/2012
Mom’s Sick.
Around 6 AM today she woke up coughing and sweating. She said she would be fine, and went to work like usual, but I worried all day. Dad was gone, as usual, so I was alone all day just worrying. It’s been three weeks since the bastard’s shown up back home. It’s like he doesn’t even care about us. Last time he was home he stopped in for dinner and then as soon as Mom and I went to bed he was gone again. I just don
Mom was calling for water. Had to run and get it for her. She’s not doing well at all. Won’t let me call for a doctor, says we don’t have the money. I’ll probably call 911 before the night is out, but I don’t know. I can’t lose her. She’s getting delirious. She kept muttering about “The Memories!” Then something about Rats, before she lost consciousness again. She doesn’t want me to call a doctor, but I still have Dad’s number. I don’t want to call him, but I will if I have to.
Going to bed. Will write more tomorrow If able.

Journal of Leviticus Bekhit: 9/4/2012
Mom’s not getting any better. I skipped class today to take care of her. I didn’t have any choice. She’s still feverish. The Muttering’s stopped for the most part. I found a doctor online and called her. I told her Mom couldn’t come into the office because we didn’t have the money and she said she could have something arranged, but until then, I should keep her hydrated and she’d let me know if she could set up a visit. She sounded real sarcastic. I wanted to come through the phone at her, but just in case, I kept polite. At least until Mom can get help.

Journal of Leviticus Bekhit: 9/9/2012
I called Dad this morning. He didn’t pick up when I called, but he called back in about an hour. I could hear voices in the background that sounded happy and raucous. It made me so angry that while Mom was here suffering and feverish he could be out partying. I kept a hold on my temper though. Couldn’t get angry with Mom so close, didn’t want to be yelling. I haven’t been to school all this week, probably won’t until Mom gets better. I can’t concentrate anyway.
When I was changing Mom’s bedding today, I found a bite on her left hand. I guess that’s probably what’s causing this fever. Don’t know though. Could have been something in the apartment since she’s been sick. I won’t let it happen again though. I’ve been staying in her room at night. Keeping watch. Still no return call from the doctor.
Oh, Dad said he’s on his way. He did sound worried, but he didn’t know how long it would take him to get back. He better get back soon. I can’t handle this on my own. It’s too much. Mom’s been muttering again. I’m gonna have to call 911 if nothing changes tonight. I’ll write more tomorrow maybe.

Journal of Leviticus Bekhit: 9/11/2012
Mom Died last night.

Journal of Leviticus Bekhit: 9/12/2012
a Newspaper clipping is attached inside. It is an obituary
Angela Bekhit
Born 4:55 AM April 30, 1974, Died 20:15 September 10, 2012. Angela took ill on September 4, and was unable to recover. She was 35 years old and is survived by her Husband Garai Bekhit and her son Levi Bekhit.
That’s her Obituary. That one paragraph, no just three sentences, is all that they could do to sum up her life.
I called 911 the morning of the 10th because she had a seizure. I didn’t know what to do, so I held her hand until the Ambulance got here. Apparently she didn’t make it to the Hospital. She was pronounced dead on Arrival. I wish I could have ridden with her. The last words that I’d said to my mother had been almost a week before she died the night she got home from work when sick.
This morning they sent us an ambulance bill. In the return envelope I sent a dead mouse and a note card with “FUCK YOU” written on it in Sharpie.
Dad’s still not back yet. This whole thing is his fault. I’m afraid of what I’ll do when I see him. Still waiting…

Journal of Leviticus Bekhit: 9/13/2012
I got Mom’s ashes in the mail this morning from the Hospital. I put them into her favorite vase. I wasn’t sure what else to do, so I left her on the Mantle. I made up a tiny tombstone. It’s stupid I know, but it helped me. I’ve been alone for 3 full days now. Dad said he’d be back in a week or so. I’m expecting him any day now. He doesn’t know.
Found out they turned off the water today. Mom Must’ve forgotten to pay the bill. It doesn’t matter; I’m only staying here until Dad gets back. I’ll figure things out from there. Got a few friends I can stay with for awhile, and the owner of the grocery that Mom worked for said I could have a job when I got old enough a year or so ago. Hopefully he’ll give me one still. Otherwise I’ll figure something else out. Well, I haven’t slept in 3 days, but I think I’m finally gonna pass out from exhaustion. I’ll write again as soon as I can.

Journal of Leviticus Bekhit: 9/14/2012
I’m still waiting. Just woke up though. I slept for almost 24 hours. Got a few dollars in a cup in the kitchen. Gonna go buy water and some dinner.
Found more in the cup than I thought I would. Grabbed some groceries for the rest of the week and a few gallons of water. I guess Mom has been putting her spare change in there. Or had been I suppose. Just one more thing I can’t thank her for.
I still can’t quite process that she’s gone. I feel so alone. I haven’t communicated other than in this journal for almost 5 days now. I don’t want to leave for too long because I have to be here when my dad gets here. Lease on the apartment is supposed to be up at the end of the month. Landlord hated us anyway, he’ll probably have the police in here exactly on the 30th. They’re all bastards.
If Dad doesn’t show up before I have to get out of here I’m gonna wait for him. In the Alley outside probably. Somewhere I can get a good view of him approaching.

Journal of Leviticus Bekhit: 9/16/2012
Still nothing.

Journal of Leviticus Bekhit: 9/24/2012
Dad’s still not arrived. I’m gonna put off writing for now. All I can think of is my anger. I don’t just want to write the same thoughts over and over again in here.

Journal of Leviticus Bekhit: 9/25/2012
I changed my mind. Writing in here helps me calm down and center my thoughts. I almost kicked a hole in the wall today I got so mad. It’s kinda funny if you thi

Journal of Leviticus Bekhit: 10/8/2012
Dad showed up as I was writing on the 25th. I think he tried to kill me, but I can’t remember…
I know it was quiet at first, as he walked in to find the house empty except for me. I think he realized that he had missed her. I remember him crumpling to the floor with his hands on his face. He might have been crying. I stood up from where I was and I started shouting at him. That’s where i stop remembering.
There’s just Red, and then black.
I woke up what must have been hours later on a bench in Central Park. I almost had a heart attack when I first opened my eyes, as an old warty witch-face took up my field of vision. I didn’t move though. She had the look in her eyes that bespoke the kind of old lady that wouldn’t take kindly to those who didn’t do exactly as she said. Not that I was afraid of her, just wary. I wasn’t sure of what she was capable, and I knew from the mind-numbing pain in my chest that I was either very seriously wounded, or was having a heart attack. I looked down at my body and saw that what bare skin I could see was covered in long cuts, and that my chest had a massive slash across it from shoulder to hip. The old woman said something and I blacked out again.
I woke up several hours later. I was laid up on a sleeping bag somewhere. It was dark, and there appeared to be a concrete and earthen ceiling above me. I was alone, and the first thing I checked was my wounds. Everything had been healed up. The only mark on me was a massive scar where the slash had been. My first thought was that it must have been months since I was last conscious. I sat up. A newspaper and a battered ti cup of water were next to my sleeping bag. This journal too as it turns out. A note was scrawled in tiny sharp letters in the newspaper. It read, “Thought you might like some reading material in case you woke up before I returned. -ML”
I checked the newspaper and was stunned to discover that it was only October 8th, 2012. So that’s where I am. Less than 2 weeks after I was sliced open, I’m fully-healed, (albeit with a massive scar), in some cave in Central Park. Probably.

Journal of Leviticus Bekhit: 10/13/2012
So I guess I’m a werewolf.
Or a Garou, as we supposedly call ourselves. Apparently what I experienced on the night of my father’s return was my First Change.
I’ve been slowly regaining memory from that night, and given the new information that I’ve been provided with I think I’ve figured out what’s happened.
My Dad arrived home and saw me. I started to get angry then, but I just stared at him, filthy from not bathing. He glanced left and then right frantically down each wall of our apartment. Looking into my eyes with deep despair in his, he sank to the floor. I stood then, enraged that he could be so pathetic. It was insulting! I yelled at him everything that had been seething in my heart the past weeks. He had no right to grieve! He’d left us! She’d died because he couldn’t be here! His roaming was more important than we were! I clenched my fists so hard that my nails drew blood from my palms. I shouted wordlessly. I think at this point because I still don’t remember precisely, but from what I’ve been told it makes sense I turned into a big angry wolf-monster. I leapt at him claws and teeth bared to tear his throat open.
What I met, I imagine, was the equally bared teeth and claws of a much older and more experienced Garou. He backhanded me with a massive taloned hand that cut deeply as it impacted. The impact tossed me across the room and my Father drew some sort of blade from his belt. I got up and charged him, even more furious now, my lips foaming with battle-rage. He swiftly sliced across my chest, opening my ribcage to the air. I felt my flesh begin to knit itself back together even as I fell to the floor. I stood again, now howling in rage at my father. I charged again, this time my claws connected. I had overextended though, and the knife was rammed up to the hilt in my sternum. My father, snarling in my face threw me out the plate-glass window of the apartment. Before my consciousness faded entirely, I remember looking back and seeing him, a man again, the look in his eyes showing the deepest black sorrow.
So that’s it then. The rest is basically song and dance. I’m some sort of warrior protector now. Don’t have e slightest clue what that means, but at least I’m done with school. I think. I should probably double-check that.
I don’t know when next I’m gonna be able to write. People have been saying something about Rites of Passage and some shit, so I imagine I’ll be busy from now on. But thanks Journal, you’ve been great. You helped me get through all this shit.

Journal of Leviticus Bekhit: 8/16/2013
So, I am continuing this journal until further notice. It seems like a great way to keep my thoughts in order.
Being a werewolf is not all it’s cracked up to be.
Or perhaps it is exactly what it is cracked up to be.
Let me start at the beginning. So there we were (to use a cliche), sitting in a balmy warehouse when Mother Larissa bursts in. She put us down for a little bit, and then sent us off to the central Park wilderness of the Ramble or scramble… Bramble? Whichever, she sent us into the forest. Things started off uneventfully enough, we walked aimlessly through woods for a bit until a be-suited, Delirious gentleman burst into the clearing.
He was quickly followed by a quintet of angry Hispo garou. Defending those beneath us, we engaged the group. Unfortunately, we were forced to kill the other garou. They attacked immediately with intent to kill, not even concentrating on their quarry, but on killing us. The fight was over very quickly. There was much blood and rending of flesh. I nearly had my own spine torn out. At the conclusion of the fight, a massive shadow swooped out of the sky, and with a whippoorwill howl grabbed up the suited man and swooped back into the sky.
My father killed it. He showed up, out of nowhere. It took all my self control to restrain my urge to attack him. But I did, even allowing his haughty holier than thou comments.
Another tribe member of higher station found us. The garou we’d killed were the pups sent from the sept of the Winter Wolf, and had been corrupted by the Wyrm. But the wendigo didn’t know that. And we’d already sent a group of pups up north. Accolon showed himself to us and urged us to go north. Apparently, he doesn’t speak to anyone often, so Hundo Chunder called in Bumper-Biter, a Bone-Gnawer with a Van. So… Road Trip? Yeah, not liking that… You know how I’ve been with vehicles…
Oh, everyone’s back. Gotta go. I’ll update again later.

Journal of Leviticus Bekhit: 8/17/2013
Holy shit… I am so glad we’re done for the day.
After nearly dying of acute motion sickness, we stopped to give me a breather at some scenic turnoff. My friends stepped into the umbra, presumably to check out the view, which I was totally cool with. But soon enough, unfortunately, we were back on the road…
For about 5 minutes. We found a horrifying crash. Multiple fatalities, I didn’t know what to do. The sheriff showed up, and me and my motion sickness-addled mind couldn’t keep up, and I fear I made a fool of myself.
After we cleared everything with the sheriff, we got into town. We stopped at a diner to grab a bite, and this lady named Kayla helped us out and gave the food to us free. She reminded me of Mom.
I miss her so much. Still feels like fucking yesterday… I swear by Gaia, Luna, and the Wyld, I will pay him back for every moment that she suffered…
The ink here is smeared in places as with tears; the handwriting degenerates to illegibility.
Sorry had to go for a moment to compose myself. Where was I? The diner, right.
Okay, so a pair of biker assholes came in halfway through our meal, made fools of themselves by hitting each other, and left the bar under threat of shotgun. Then, out of the kindness of her heart, Kayla offered us a free cabin stay over night. Which is where we are now, just settling down. Sure is shaping up to be a relaxing evening.

Journal of Leviticus Bekhit: 8/18/2013
Holy shit, where do I begin. So, almost immediately after I stopped writing last night, all hell broke loose. A gunshot rang out through the forest, and We dispersed to check it out. Kaiden and the Theurge went into the Umbra to check things out from there, and I checked the back porch. A hunter had run up to the door, and was babbling that “something was coming.” Then, out of the forest streaked a shark-toothed mangy-looking horror from the deepest nightmares. It moved up to the hunter before I could even blink and was chowing down on his arm in seconds.
I froze, for only a moment, and reached for the rage. I released it and went straight to Crinos without hesitation. From behind me leapt Oskar, and Stephen charged in too. Together we tore the thing to pieces. I immediately ran back to check on the hunter.
He wasn’t doing well. He’d more or less already bled out. I knew I was too late. I don’t really remember what happened after that. It’s all haze.
Next I remember I was huddled against the couch, covered in blood, and the hunter was dead.
Looking at him, I could see black veins moving up his arms. We’d prevented the curse from spreading on him entirely.
From there, after a frantic sequence of events we came across a seriously wyrm-tainted shack. I went to the real world from the Umbra to perform a bit of recon. The shack was basically 5 pieces of cardboard attached to each other. The creatures inside, more tainted humans, saw me a screeched. Panicking, I went back to the Umbra and signaled the attack. In a haze of blood and gore we finished every last one of the monsters. And took back Lyla’s apparently missing parts. A spirit emerged from the wreckage of the shack after we’d cleansed it and explained some things. I was happy to have my pack mates safe. Oh, everyone’s talking again. I’ll write more later.

Journal of Leviticus Bekhit: 8/24/2013
So, where to begin? So much has happened since the last time I wrote I… I’m… Lost.
How could he do that? That’s not him! I don’t… I cant’t… He hated us, Mom and me! He was never there when we needed him! And even when he was here, he was absent, looking toward the road. Always for the next journey. They always meant more him than us, his other family, his pack. I don’t even know who they are! I doubt mom did either… Why would he do this to me!?
I’m sorry, I’m all over the place, let me explain. We were driving down the road in Lyla, having just rescued a lost pup that we had dubbed Pinecones, when we hit a spike strip. Lyla spun out and flipped and I fell unconscious for a few moments. When I came to, there were 4 vampires standing around the van and only Kaiden and I were awake. We attacked the first to charge us, nearly tearing him in half with a Wishbone maneuver. I went to finish him off, and about there things go a little hazy. I know I killed another of the four and Kaiden a third, but the details are fuzzy until suddenly there was a purple dust cloud or maybe a fog or mist of some kind surrounding us. As this happened, the fourth Vampire, some chick in crazy anime clothes, stopped suddenly as he head fell from her shoulders. It was him damnit! I realized this as we fell deeply unconscious.
What followed was a really bizarre, peaceful dream. We hunted a white stag as a pack, and each sort of found ourselves individually. It was a brief relief from the awful that preceded it.
We awoke, after what I assume was maybe five or ten minutes, fully healed. My father was standing over us. He’d saved us again.
But this time he’d fucked up and missed Lyla and Pinecones. I… I… Told him to find them and meet us at the sept of the Winter Wolf. I was angry then, now I don’t know how I feel.
We made it to the sept of the winter wolf, with only a minor delay that ended up being a turn for the best as it allowed us to gain easy access into the sept.
Then, we told them what had happened to their pups, that it had been us who had killed them. But then… Then my father spoke up for us, taking the blame in such a way that any protestations on my part would be useless… he claimed fathership. I… I don’t know what to think anymore.
The Winter Wolf Sept Elders made us perform the punishment rite. I don’t remember it, just being violently ill immediately after.
So that’s where I am. Dad’s gone now. He left again, but it was my fault… My fuck-up that forced him to leave. I don’t have any family left. And I’m finally realizing how wrong I was to blame him for what happened. It’s like the foundation of hate that I’ve built up over the past year is suddenly vanished leaving me falling. I have all this pent up anger, and nowhere to point it… But at myself.
I am lost.
My name is Leviticus Bekhit, my mother was Angela Bekhit, and my father is, and always will be Khaldoun “Races-The-Dark” Bekhit.

Canada is Cold

Where do I start…..let’s go with the warehouse. Wait no let’s start with the few weeks before the warehouse. I’m a werewolf…I kid you not I’ve got claws, fangs and fur. It so rocks. While it did until the warehouse. I got kidnapped but they meant well. I followed all the rules of my kidnapping 101 classes until I figured out they weren’t humans….it worked out.

Until we ended up lost in the park being chase by angry wolves. Then went over a moon bridge to Canada. It didn’t go so well there. Apparently, someone went about murdering their pups from our side of the lines. The pack was kind enough to let us leave in peace. Since we had absolutely nothing to do with the murders. I fell horrible though…their pups couldn’t be any older than us and someone just lost their children for good.

The only problem with this…is CANADA IS REALLY FLIPPIN’ COLD! So then I ended wandering into the wilderness and getting use to my four pawed form. I realized pretty quick that no one was stepping up to make the decisions so I followed my father’s advice. “Calliope, when no one makes the hard choices then lots of people get hurt,” he’d puff his pipe, “So when you see the decision make it because at least you tried to help then.” I picked a direction and we headed that way, the girls have really good ideas but no focus.

OH, best thing ever happened in the middle of the woods. We stumbled into a hot springs episode. All it was missing was the slightly awkward love interest who accidentally sees you naked and then you have a heartfelt conversation over the privacy wall. So I’m lost in the middle of the woods, really close to the enemy camp and all I can think is ’I’m totally the chosen one’. This is so awesome.

Well That Was A Hell Of A Thing

Dear Diary…
Or what ever the hell you are suppose to title these things. Kinda silly to me to “write” to a journal but whatever.
So… where do I even start. I guess from when the crazy began. So there I was, comfortable at home in the subway systems, licking my wounds if you would from days before. You know, the whole finding out your a werewolf and breaking up with your boyfriend cause he was an ass thing. Yeah, not fun times. The boyfriend thing seems almost pointless by now. I mean, come on, I found out I am a FUCKING WEREWOLF! What do you do with that? And that half the people down below with me are too, or “kin” or something, I don’t get it still. Anywho,so that all happened, and I was laying on my bed when all of the sudden the world goes dark because I have a bag over my head that smells really weird and I pass out. I wake up in a warehouse with 4 other chicks. One of them is Cane. She seems pretty cool, a little hippy, a little “you know like totally” some times, but over all cool. And there is Sina there two. She is pretty quiet. I am not quite thinking she is shy, I think it is more she is the type that says only things that are needed to be said. But I can work with that, it means she is not running her mouth or something drama bitch like a lot of girls are, so I can chill with her. Then there is Calliope… I am still trying to figure her out. She took apart our radio out of boredom but it wasn’t necessarily broken. Chick is smart, and has a plan, which I can appreciate cause most of us don’t know where to start. Give me a direction and I can make sure we all get there, but she knows which direction to point first. She a little quiet too, well correction. She is distant, but I think we will work just fine together in the long run and who knows, maybe even become friends or something. And last there is Valentine… Ok, I feel a little bad for her. She is getting a bum wrap. So apparently it is really bad that both of her parents were Werewolves. I mean, it is in the litany and everything. She doesn’t have a tail because of it, but whatever. I knew a guy who only had 3 fingers and half an ear because of “The War” as he put it and he was awesome, so so what that she doesn’t have a tail. Out of all the litany things we got down that is the biggest one I think is just lame. If two people love each other it shouldn’t matter that they are both werewolves. They call her a Metis. I wanted to make a joke about “Metis to Society” to make her feel better, but wasn’t sure how she would take it, so I let it be for now.
So we are in the warehouse for a week, right, and we are bored out of our FUCKING MINDS!!!!! I mean there was NOTHING TO DO and bitches can only stay together like that so long before someone starts going crazy. So just as we were about to crack the door opens up and this really old lady walks through. She is the head of the Sept of the Green and really important in the Tribe of Bonegnawers. So basically, we don’t mess with her if we want to live. She tells us we are going to go through our initiation if we would to be part of werewolf society… and that it isn’t an option. I don’t know how I feel about that. It isn’t like I have a problem being a werewolf, not in the way that some people do, it is just… it is still odd, you know. I am not me when I am in wolf form. I don’t look like me, I don’t feel like me, I am someone… no… someTHING else when I am the wolf, and I am just not use to it yet. I guess I will be at some point, but until then, I am just not comfortable with it.
So she takes us to Central Park. I love it here, get a lot of good work here, lot of easy targets. Tourist come though, loose pockets, gullible and trusting, and you know, those are the nights you eat well. So we go to where there are a lot of trees and all these other wolves start howling at us. Not going to lie, kinda scared the shit out of me. So we ran to… well, the thing is called a Moon Bridge. I couldn’t make this shit up even if I wanted too. So we cross the Moon Bridge and BANG, we are in Canada, eh. And it is FUCKING COLD AS A WITCH TIT! I MEAN GOD DAMN IT! Couldn’t we have done this, oh, I don’t know, the summer or spring or anything thing but this? But, what ever. We are here now. So we get there, and we get greeted by this native american. He is really nice, but at this point everything feels like a trap. I don’t trust anything. So they give us stew and I don’t eat it, and it is hard to sleep, and I am not going to lie I am just paranoid. After that we go to meet the Sept of the Winter Wolf. And that is when the Shit hits the fan. Apparently some of the Sept of the Green killed their pups. Like people, teenagers, like us, the people who sent us here killed them! Needless to say they were not happy to see us. So they “politely escorted” us away and we got the fuck out of there. So now… here we are… in the woods… trying to survive in the cold with no supplies or anything… yeah, still debating on how awesome this werewolf thing is suppose to be…

Other Werewolves are Awesome

My beloved (though not earthly-attached) fellow Stargazers,

I know you told me writing home about my adventures wasn’t necessary, that this was a time for me to learn about myself and my own place in the world or something like that, but man, this is just too exciting! So much has happened since I arrived in New York!

First of all, I got kidnapped. But it wasn’t, like, a bad kidnapping. It was the city wolves I think. I forgot what their tribe is called (but I know I’m supposed to respect them!), but yeah, they were kidnapping me and a few other pups for our initiation. One minute I had a bag over my head, the next I was waking up in a warehouse with my fellow rites-of-passage-ites. I didn’t even get a chance to visit Rockefeller Center first…

So anyway, we were stuck in the warehouse for a long time. I tried to get to know my new best friends (or I guess allies since friendship means forming attachments, right?), but some of them were kind of quiet and didn’t want anything to do with me. I think they’re just shy. I tried some singing for them once our radio was taken apart. That was done by the Philodox, Calliope. I think she was bored.

But yeah, we were being guarded by some bigger werewolves. I think they were Ahroun like me, but somehow they seemed a little scarier. Maybe I’ll seem scarier too when I finish my initiation? I don’t know if I want to though. Need to control the rage and all that, you know? So these guards wouldn’t let us leave the warehouse for a long time, and finally this awesome old lady came in and made some comments about us. They were quite clever and I think some of them were hidden compliments. The lady led us out into the woods after offering us soup sandwiches (which she never payed up on), but then kind of disappeared. She was very fast for her age, I’ll give her that.

Then, as we were trying to figure out where to go, we got attacked by other werewolves. We ran from them and managed to escape into a Moon Bridge. That led us into a really cold, snowy area. The cold was kind of nostalgic and bracing at first, but then it was just too much. Thankfully this guy showed up and showed us to a cave where we could rest. There was even stew! That’s close to soup!

After that we got to sleep for a while, which was really nice, though I did have a trippy dream about Valentine, one of my… I guess pack mates now? It turns out she’s a Metis, and she’s been treated so horribly because of it. I didn’t know how looked down on they were from some other tribes. I always thought a Metis was just part of our balance, you know? I hugged her when we woke up and I hope she knows that she is not hated by her pack.

We went outside after, but something was wrong. From what I got of it all, there were some other pups from the tribe we were at right now (I’m pretty sure Wendigo) who were on their Rite of Passage like us. But they got killed somehow, and I think it was by the tribe that had kidnapped us so that we were kind of a part of now too? I need to remember the name of the city wolves… not the fancy ones, but the more ruggedly ones. But anyway, there was a terrible tragedy, and I think the two tribes are going to go to war for it… because of this, the Wendigo weren’t going to perform our Rite of Passage, and instead banished us into the snowy wilderness.

We weren’t going to cause any more trouble than we were already in, so we headed off. After we got far enough away, we realized it was too cold to go on as Homids, so we turned Lupus. I tied my clothes to my shoulders and leg first, and Calliope did the same, but somehow the others were able to transform without doing that, and their clothes kind of just… disappeared. Talk about some kind of magic; I wonder how they did that!

Anyway, we traveled for a long time and it was really cold and we finally needed to stop to rest. We managed to find food and I tried doing this awesome thing I’d seen some of my fellow Stargazers do before where you just transform your front legs into human arms. I was able to make a fire and prepare the food that way.

Then later, we had some amazing luck where we accidentally stumbled into the spirit world, but there was a hot spring there! I turned human again and it was so warm and comfortable. We stayed there for a while. Then finally, we managed to find another werewolf group. We don’t know who they are yet, but we’re hoping they won’t hate us and will be willing to help us and maybe even perform our Rite of Passage for us?

So yeah, that’s all that’s happened so far! How am I writing this if I am currently standing in the wilderness waiting to see what will happen? Well I’m not, actually. I’m just writing this all in my head and will put it on paper when I get the chance to send it to you all! How’s that for wisdom?

Your beloved (though not earthly-attached) pup,

A Dubious Future
One last goodbye scribbled hastily on a piece of paper

Kaiden Reid

Dear Father,

Oh boy have I done it this time. This is the one free moment that I’ll have probably for the next few weeks so I’m taking it to write you this letter. I hope that it gets to you alright because these words may be my last. I want you to know, that above all else I love you. You guys have always been there for me and I want you to know that it is what keeps me going. I think this time I went too far though.

This is my side of the story. This all started about a day ago. We were just coming out of the week of fasting and ritual preparation for out Rite of Passage that Mother Larissa was putting us through. She summoned us in a rather unusual but completely obvious way and so the five of us followed her into the Sept. We made out way through a forest known as the tangle but we were hard pressed to keep up with her. I don’t know what it was about the way she moved, but she seemed to slip to and from the shadows. We lost her, but not long after that as we argued amongst ourselves about what to do I noticed footsteps running through the bush. A man burst into our clearing so I did my best to stay hidden from sight but as we were to find out later he was already suffering from the delirium. Yeah, I still have trouble controlling it. I’m working on it. That’s not the point, its what he was running from that is where things get hairy.

The man was screaming madly and shouting something about ’They’re out to get me!’ and ‘What is going on?!’. A guy name Leviticus, Levi for short, was trying to talk him down. We all looked at each other but no one knew what to do. Before we could come to a consensus 5 hispo jumped out from the darkness, their white fur shining in the moonlight and their red eyes fixed on our throats. Levi and I introduced ourselves and told them we were from the Sept of the Green, but they would not listen. They jumped at us. I managed to dodge the first one but a second tore up my leg pretty badly. We fought for a few minutes and eventually we got the upper hand and finished them off. We didn’t have much time to think before a great bat-winged beast swooped down and grabbed the man from our hands. The five of us did our best to follow it through the trees when all of a sudden Kaldun, Races the Dark appears in the night sky and dispatches it with seemingly practiced effort.

When the man was safe we told Kaldun-Rhya what had happened and then he told us what had happened. We all took a moment of silence to mourn the lives of the five pups we killed earlier that night. They were Wendigo pups on their Rite of Passage. We didn’t know, I swear and they gave our words not heed before they attacked us. Still, what we did was unforgivable. I fear that my actions may incite another fight amongst our tribes. It is worse than bad.

Now we follow the words of Akelon-Rhya, an honored name around the Sept of the Green. We are leaving for Canada in a matter of minutes. Once Stephen gets out of the bathroom really. Oh shit there he is. Tell mom I love her and make her smile for me.


A Dubious Past
An Ordinary World ...

Kaiden Reid

I really don’t know how to start so I’ll just jump right into it. My name is Kaiden Reid. I’m 17 years old, I live in my grandparents loft (mostly by myself I might add..) and I attend NYU. There I am a full time student which I have to balance with, eating, partying, and general waywardness. Oh, and I am a werewolf. So that has something to do with all of this stress I seem to be swimming in. Which is in part why I am writing this journal. I talked with Larissa the other day about my problem and she said that sometimes for those of my auspice writing or other creative activities can help to keep my temper when things get rough. So here I am …

There is a story that my mom always used to tell me when I was a kid. There once was an older man set in his ways and content to live by himself for the rest of his years. One day he was outside near the road planting the seeds of a tree in the dirt when along came three fine young comrades, my mom’s words not mine. They said to the man, “You are foolish to be planting such a tree, for the fruit will not grow before you expire. Why do you waste your time doing something that is of no use to yourself?” To which the man replied, “The people before me provided for my happiness and it is my duty to provide happiness for those who come after me. Besides, who knows? Perhaps you will die before me.” The comrades laughed at the man and called him a fool as they rode away. The old man’s words came true; one of the young men went on a voyage at sea and drowned, another went to war and got shot, and the third fell from his roof and broke his neck. I think it means something along the line of “Life is never certain so help those around you”. She said that is was a story my grandfather used to tell her all of the time. I always thought he was crazy but they say that madness comes with a kind of clarity so maybe not everything that comes from his mouth is crazy.

Speaking of my crazy grandfather I suppose that a kind of madness runs through our blood. More than most I mean. My lineage boasts a member of the IRA, those radical revolutionaries from Patriot Games. Car bombings, theft, and assassination were all part of his repertoire and he still found time to woo the ladies. Then there was the man who joined in the second World War. Finn I think his name was, anyways he earned his reputation as an assassin during the war. Those who fought with him tell me he was the best of men and that he deserved my respect for the things that he did. I guess that’s true, but he was never any good to me. He always told me he was disappointed in my father and that I should correct his mistakes. I never liked him much. Then there is the crazy one I was talking about before. I don’t exactly know what happened with him but every time he left our house he would pull me aside and tell me to watch my back. When I was a kid it frightened the bajeezus out of me, but I don’t think he really means anything by it. Like I said … crazy. Last but not least is my dad, hulking beast of a man who thought that wild animals would make for a great amusement park. It worked well until a kid went home with a river of blood flowing from his chest, but to be fair he should know better than to throw rocks at a wolf. What was his name, it was something boring like James, or Jones. I don’t know, I was only a kid when it happened so my memory is a little fuzzy.

I guess the story kind of tells the truth though. Life is strange. It hands you all of these different things and you are supposed to find out what to do with all of them. My dad never knew that he was going to open up a wildlife reserve, heck he just wanted to make a few bucks, but for his efforts he has been rewarded. Now he has a TV show on Planet Animal and people call him “Irish Steve Irwin”. I’m not trying to make light of his struggles. It can be pretty hard sometimes, downright scary at others. I didn’t know if that kid was going to live through that. But my father has worked hard to help protect the world’s wildlife, and he has shown me a few of his skills, so I guess that he has provided happiness for me. Maybe I’m too young to give anything back yet. Mother Larissa says that I’m not a real werewolf until I go through the rite of passage, or at least that’s the message that I get from her. Maybe that’s true but I figure now is a better time to start trying than later.

- K.R.


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